The Holidays are supposed to be beautiful times of peace, joy and togetherness. Sometimes they are.
But there are also times when they are… um...
Let's say imperfect.
Here are five key tips to move through the imperfect moments with grace (and maybe even turn them into beautiful ones)
Pay SPECIAL attention to #3 & 4!
Let’s dive in.
1. Remember your rituals
Huge meals, late nights, and odd travel times are just a few hallmarks of this time of the year.
It's easy for this to disrupt your flow.
You know. The thing that keeps you sane.
With your regular practices disrupted, you're more likely to succumb to unconscious habits, stress, and volatility.
This makes bad moods and arguments way more likely to happen.
Add to that the excess carbs and sugar we tend to put into our bodies (which has a HUGE effect on our mental state) and it can turn into the perfect storm.
So be wary of the line, “It’s only for a little while.”
Don't let your meditation practice slip.
Continue smudging your spaces.
And if you usually have crystals to support you, make sure to bring the ones you need on your travels.
2. Exercise conscious compassion
This time of year can be stressful for some and beautiful for others. But for most it’s a little bit of both.
A lot of it is about being with family for so long.
Our family is where the majority of our deeper traumas originate.
Being around them so much (with some holiday expectations thrown in) means waaay more opportunities to get triggered.
So expect it.
Even if you don’t usually get triggered around this time, there’s probably someone you know who does.
That’s why it’s essential to exercise conscious compassion.
When you get triggered. When they get triggered. When they ‘don’t understand’ or ‘don’t listen.’
Remember that while this can be a beautiful time, it can also be a challenging time.
Make the choice to exercise compassion. Set the intention to offer it both to yourself… and those around you.
We're all in need of the healing that love provides.
Clue for the Conscious:
If someone is being less than loving and you need to exercise compassion, it helps to envision them as a young child (between 3-6 years old).
Because here’s the reality:
The child in them who felt unsafe, unheard, unloved, unworthy, incapable or whatever at 4 years old…
That’s the part expressing itself when they’re triggered.
And seeing it for what it is makes it so, so much easier to love.
This will transform EVERY relationship you use this in.
3. Recognize and be aware of old patterns
If you care about keeping vibrations high and being a conscious individual, you’ve probably been doing ‘the work’ on some level.
This one’s HUGE for anyone desiring growth.
So much of WHY you’ve become who you were up until this point is about to be on display.
Is dad super nervous?
Can mom find the dark side of any bright moment?
Does your uncle always make inappropriate jokes?
Well this was ‘reality’ when you were growing up.
This is what was ‘true’ when you were forming core beliefs about how the world worked as an impressionable child.
You absorbed these things like a paper towel absorbs water.
That means two things:
- Bumping up against these foundational elements may be triggering.
- This is an AMAZING time to see some of the core reasons you act and think the way you do. Then you can work on shifting that.
And there’s more here.
You have old energies and old patterns attached to both these relationships and the places you grew up in.
Pay attention. It’s easy to slip back into those.
If you do, revisit tip #2 (conscious compassion) and recognize it as an opportunity to choose a new way of being.
Clue for the Conscious:
There’s one more pile of gold to mine here.
Be on the lookout for old family stories.
Examine the real meanings beneath them.
Often times, those stories our families rehash and laugh over are actually unprocessed traumas.
Traumas humming with shame.
Becoming aware of them can help you see how your family dynamic came to be -- and help you choose something better within yourself.
4. Leave your wrench at home
When you’re aware of so much dysfunction or lovelessness, there’s an instinct that pops up.
Especially if we’re trying to become better ourselves.
That instinct is to instruct the people we love on why they’re wrong and what they should do instead.
We try to fix them.
It’s noble and usually driven, at least in part, by genuine care for the other.
There’s only one problem:
Have you ever shared some problem you were going through or some struggle you were having with someone?
And then they turn around and say, “Well, here are the 5 things you did wrong, why they’re wrong, and this is what you need to do now?”
Well, if you’ve been there, even if the other person was RIGHT, what you felt probably wasn’t gratitude.
You probably felt like they never stopped to try to understand you.
Like you didn’t feel heard or loved in that moment.
That they just looked at you as a problem to fix.
That’s how people feel when we try to fix them.
Worse if they didn’t even ask for help.
In fact, they usually get triggered around the idea that they’re ‘doing things wrong’ and respond with irritation.
In this state, they’re not only closed to hearing your ideas or seeing your side...
… They’ll probably feel the need to defend themselves and justify their actions.
This makes it LESS likely they’ll grow.
Let’s avoid that.
Focus on yourself and being better yourself.
Do your best to curb the instinct to offer advice that wasn’t asked for.
And when you ARE asked for guidance, try to only talk about yourself and your experiences.
It’s amazing how deep of a connection you can get when you communicate this way.
And how much more of an impact you have.
It’s almost like a magic trick.
5. Tune into your heart
This one thing could make the biggest difference for you:
Come from a place of love and alignment.
Make the conscious effort to feel your heart in your chest… and tap into that space of love and connection.
When you can enter and stay in that place, nothing but miracles unfurl.
When you speak from love, things change.
When you act from love, people shift.
When you ‘are’ in love, you transform.
You’ll say the things that need to be said.
Not what ‘should’ be said. Not what ‘shouldn’t’ be said.
You’ll do the things you’re meant to do.
Not what you ‘should’ do. Not what you ‘shouldn’t’ do.
When you make the shift to be in alignment with love, everything shifts around you. Everyone and everything HAS to respond.
All are drawn into the space where healing is found and connection is pure.
This isn’t to say that everything immediately becomes pleasant.
But YOU acquire a space of peace within yourself, and you shift the trajectory of the people you love towards a more conscious, aligned life.
Clue for the Conscious:
This is rarely a decision you make once.
Like most things, entering this space is a muscle.
It’s a decision you make time and again as you notice yourself living out other patterns.
But every time you make that decision, it gets just the TEENSIEST bit easier until one day… it’s as effortless as breathing and as reliable as the sunrise.
The Final Tip
So those are the 5 tips for having High Vibe Holidays (and turning them into beautiful times of connection or growth).
I hope you’ve found a practice or mindset to take with you into this holiday season.
Let’s make it more beautiful than ever.
If there was something useful in here for you, I bet there’s someone else who’d love to receive this.
Make sure to share this article on the socials or with whoever is on your heart.
There’s also one last tip I’d love to share that can make a profound difference in how you experience this family filled time.
If you’re interested in knowing what that is, sign up for our Black Friday VIP list.
Not only will you get steeper discounts than everyone else and early access to deals…
I’ll ALSO send you that final tip, straight to your inbox.
x's and o's,